Any elementary teacher knows that once MAP testing arrives, it not longer seems as if the summer will never come. Recess duty is suddenly bearable, maybe because the sun is finally out, but more likely because the kids are insane and it's an opportunity to get them out of your hair. My chance to be a full-time mom is around the corner. The realization is exciting but also bittersweet because I realize I have (on occasion) wished away my time during the school year, which is time with them as little babies.
I keep visualizing what this summer might look like. I can see Lincoln crawling around and maybe even taking his first steps. It blows my mind to think he will be that big. I've imagined a joint birthday party at a park with his other AugustBaby Friends. I imagine Lincoln doing everything he can to keep up with Jacoby as he runs laps in our house. I wonder if his hair will grow in so he doesn't have a bald spot and rat tail on the back of his head. I feel sad when I realize he will be a toddler sooner than I'm ready for.
I picture Lincoln and I sitting outside on a blanket to watch Jacoby play ball with Zach. I wonder if Jacoby will still look like a baby in his swim trunks with his little pot-belly or if he will look more like a little boy. I can hear Jacoby and Lincoln laughing together. I'm not sure if Jacoby will still be asking us, "What he sayin'?" when Lincoln babbles, or if Jacoby will be the one interpreting for us.
I know the summer will go too quickly. I know that it will continue to be a struggle to be present in the moment instead of zoning out on things that are temporary. I am excited to become better at keeping a balance between things that matter and things that don't as much. Most of all, I know the Lord is in a process of reshaping what our day to day looks like as we see things from His perspective. It feels like a downhill slide, but I think in reality it's just the beginning of a new thing.
